Stop Postponing Yourself™
The meeting starts.
You wait for the right moment.
And when it comes...
you don't say it — again.
The meeting ends.
And on the way home, you're still thinking about the thing you didn't say.
You knew what you wanted.
You knew before the meeting.
You know again now.
Interesting.
So what happened in between?
It's not always the meeting.
Sometimes, you know you need to say no.
No to the extra work.
No to the late evening.
No to the thing that somehow landed on your desk again.
Sometimes, you want to ask for something.
For the salary increase.
For the day working from home.
For the move to 80%.
For the opportunity you know you're ready for.
Sometimes, you have something you want to say in a meeting.
You wait for the right moment. You hesitate.
And while you're waiting, someone else says it.
The point you were going to make.
People nod.
Someone says, “That's a good point.”
And you're sitting there thinking:
I was going to say that.
And that's the frustrating part.
You had the thought.
You had the opinion.
You knew what you wanted to ask for.
You knew what you didn't want to agree to.
Before the moment became real, you were clear.
And often, afterwards, you're clear again.
On the way back to your desk.
In the car on the way home.
Later that evening when the conversation starts playing through your head again.
The words are there now.
What you could have said.
What you meant to ask.
The no that suddenly feels perfectly reasonable again.
And you wonder:
Why do I keep second-guessing myself when it matters?
Why didn't I just say it?
And here's the annoying part.
You were clear before the moment became real.
And later, you were clear again.
So apparently, knowing what you want isn't the problem.
What if something changes when wanting it turns into having to act on it?
Most advice starts with what you should do next time.
Speak up sooner.
Be more assertive.
Stop second-guessing yourself.
Useful, perhaps.
But it skips the interesting part.
What happened in the moment when you already knew what you wanted — and still did something different?
Because between:
I know what I want.
and
Why didn't I say it?
something happened.
Maybe the situation gave you new information.
Maybe something suddenly felt more important than what you'd planned to say.
Maybe the decision simply looked different once you had to make it for real.
That's the part I want to understand with you.
Not so you can force yourself to speak up next time.
Not so you always say no.
But so that the next time the moment becomes real, you can see what's actually making the decision.
And once you can see that, you get something back:
the ability to choose.
To still say yes.
To still say no.
To change your mind because something genuinely changed.
Or to stand by what you wanted before the moment became real.
But this time, the decision is yours.
The next time can look different.
You're in the meeting.
You have something to say.
You feel that familiar hesitation.
For a second, you consider waiting.
But this time, you notice it.
And you say what you wanted to say.
Not perfectly.
Not with a perfectly steady voice.
You just say it.
OR
The request lands on your desk again.
"Could you take care of this?"
Normally, the yes would be out of your mouth before you'd really thought about it.
This time, you don't answer straight away.
You give yourself a moment.
And maybe the answer is still yes.
Or maybe it's no.
OR
You walk into the conversation about your hours.
You know you want to go down to 80%.
And when it becomes real, all the reasons to leave things exactly as they are suddenly feel very convincing.
But now you notice that too.
You can listen to them.
Take them seriously.
And still ask yourself:
What do I actually want to decide?
Maybe you walk out having asked for the 80%.
Maybe you don't.
Maybe something you learned in the conversation genuinely changed your mind.
That's not the point.
The point is that you don't have to get halfway home before you realise:
That wasn't actually the decision I wanted to make.
Because this time, you were there for the moment when the decision was being made.
This is the moment I work with.
I call this Self-Postponement™.
It's the space between knowing what you want — and what happens when acting on it becomes real.
What changes in that space is different for every woman.
That's why we don't start with what you should do differently.
We start with what actually happened.
You bring your life.
I help you see what you've been too close to see.
Not to give you my answer.
To help you hear yours.
I'm Patricia.
I've spent years listening to people tell me what they thought the problem was.
And I've learned not to stop at the first answer.
I notice the small contradictions.
The sentence that doesn't quite fit.
The moment where “I don't know” comes right after someone has told me exactly what they know.
That's usually where I get curious.
I don't listen for the answer I expect to hear.
I listen for the thing you almost passed over.
Because the thing that doesn't seem important is sometimes the whole point.
That's the kind of conversation I love.
And it's the kind of work I do.
Let's look at the moment together.
Bring the conversation you keep replaying in your head.
The thing you wanted to say but didn't.
The no that became a yes.
The request you keep meaning to make.
The opportunity you didn't put yourself forward for.
We'll slow the moment down together.
What did you want before it became real?
What happened when it did?
What suddenly became part of the decision?
And what do you want now that you can see it?
There is no decision you're supposed to reach.
You don't have to say no.
You don't have to ask for the raise.
You don't have to speak up just because you planned to.
I'm not secretly rooting for one answer.
The point is to understand what's actually making the decision — so that you can make it yourself.
Sometimes one conversation is enough.
Sometimes it makes sense to continue.
We decide that together.
Loading days...
1 hr
200 US dollars
You don't need to come prepared.
You don't have to know what you should have said.
You don't have to have a better answer ready for next time.
You don't have to become more assertive before we talk.
And you definitely don't need to figure yourself out first.
That's what we'll look at together.
Bring the moment that keeps bothering you.
The one where you knew what you wanted — and somehow, that's not what happened.
That's enough.
From women I've guided through their own process.
“You always gave me the time I needed. Sometimes the realisations just came tumbling in, and being able to talk them through with you was really helpful.”
— Erdmuthe P.
“You have such a calm, confident way of guiding me through things, and I always felt I had your full attention.”
— Nicola Q.
“You create such a wonderful sense of trust that I could completely let go. And you always seemed to know when I'd had enough.”
— Andrea V.
Not sure if this is something we should look at together?
You don't have to figure that out on your own either.
Bring the situation that's been on your mind.
Tell me what happened.
We'll talk about what you're noticing — and whether working together would be useful.
If it is, we'll know.
If it isn't, that's useful too.
Loading days...
30 min